


By The Gentle Waning Of A Candle

by teacup-occamy (tinyshoopuf)



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Crack, newt is a very bad incubus
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-01
Updated: 2017-04-01
Packaged: 2018-10-13 17:59:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10518924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinyshoopuf/pseuds/teacup-occamy
Summary: "Care to enlighten me how you two lovely sisters managed to accidentally summon me, an incubus?""...we were trying to coax out a salamander to keep our fire tended.""Oh, well, whoever wrote out this summons needs to work on their penmanship."





	

**Author's Note:**

> Idea from a rather hilarious failed drawing

“This may be a very personal question, but I have to know, have you _ever_ been successful?” Queenie asked the incubus currently sitting in the chintz armchair by the window. He’d been playing with the beaded fringe of the lamp next to him, but stopped at her question.

“No,” he said after a moment. “I did get kissed once, but he was very drunk and I don’t think that counts.”

“Well, what were you doing when that happened?” She asked quickly, hoping this would give them a good starting place on building up his charms so that he might _actually_ seduce someone.

“Buying a bag of oranges from the corner grocer.”

Queenie wilted again. Tina, who had managed to regain her composure after the mating dance (his words, _not_ hers) buried her face in her cushion as she was overcome with a fresh wave of giggles. To his credit, he didn’t seem particularly offended by the elder sister’s mirth. Queenie sighed.

“Have any of the other incubi given you any pointers?” Though she felt that might be grasping at straws…

To her complete astonishment, he reached into the pocket of his oversized coat and pulled out a tidy stack of parchment scraps, ink scrawled across them in surprisingly tidy loops.

“You take notes?” Tina asked, face still pink from laughing.

“Observations, mostly. I try to write down when something is met with any hint of approval. Most of it is the failures, though.” He passed the stack over to Queenie, who immediately began rifling through it.

“What’s a niffler?” She asked, wrinkling her nose as she read.

“An incorrigible creature, really. Loves anything shiny and almost impossible to keep out of trouble.” He began to play with the lamp fringe once more as though his statement had reminded him of the beads that caught and played with the light so enchantingly. 

Tina read over her sister’s shoulder as Queenie examined each scrap. “What’s this one?” She asked, pointing at what appeared to be a newsprint column. The title proclaimed the seductive prowess of a stage actor who could make women swoon with his patented smoulder. “You’ve written ‘Subject seemed terrified, never attempt smoulder again’ what on earth did you do?”

“I tried a smoulder, of course.” He looked slightly affronted that she’d missed something so obvious.

The sisters shared a wary look. “Show us,” Queenie said, slowly, caution and curiosity mingling in her tone. He looked a bit hesitant, but nodded obligingly.

And then he began to faintly smoke.

Tina realized it first, bolting upright in alarm, with Queenie following as her head was suddenly filled with her sister’s frenzied concern for the drapes.

“No, no, no, stop, stop!” The elder waved her arms in a halting gesture as the incubus started slightly at her sudden motion. The smoke immediately puffed out. Queenie clutched at her chest, momentarily reliving the time Benny Smithson sent up an entire fleet of study carrels in flames while attempting to cast an everlasting charm on a candle.

“We seem to have our work cut out for us,” she said, preparing herself for a long night.


End file.
